Defensiveness is a coping mechanism used to deflect and protect. When your partner turns everything into an attack and begins an argument it's because they are seeing your words through the lense of their own wounds. For example, Ash is acting as someone with a wound of insecurity which gets triggered by her partner mentioning something that involves her. She takes this as criticism and immediately tries to regain her self esteem by deflecting and turning it around on her partner. She uses compe
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How is defensiveness hurting your relationship? Well, if you're regularly defensive in your relationship your partner will feel unsafe with you. They won’t want to share with you, they won’t feel connected, you will lose intimacy and depth. And this causes you to suffer too. This isn’t a real relationship, it’s a battlefield. Working in your defensiveness can change your life, along with your relationship. #marriage #attachmentstyle #traumahealing #marriagecoach #couplegoals #marriagegoals #avoi
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